Moonflowers

Now Playing: “Simple Twist of Fate” by Bob Dylan

I’ve been drawing wildflowers with Bic pens on loose leaf printer paper ever since I left the clinic.

I began doing it in group therapy. I’d ask the techs for some paper to make notes on and end up drawing jonquils and moonflowers for my friends, surprising them while we went out for our cigarette breaks.

This is the time of year I crave listening to Blood on the Tracks and Nashville Skyline. I miss my record collection back home. I debated bringing them with me to the clinic, but ended up bringing along my copy of Proust and a neuroscience book I read when I need something soothing to lull me to sleep.

Tonight I ended up making a large mug of chamomile tea with some honey.

My stereo came in the mail today. A little vintage looking thing complete with an AM/FM radio and a little antennae. If you turn the knob just so, you get Bluetooth, so I can listen to Bob Dylan and Roy Orbison whenever I want.

I made good progress on the Larry McMurtry book today and won three rounds of Scrabble, but I’ve still not looked at my manuscript. C says it’s ready to go and all my friends from the clinic are dying to read it.

P even asked if I’ve been writing again. I told her about my Letterboxd reviews and how it’s like moving a muscle.

God, I miss my records. I told the guy back home I wanted to get a copy of John Wesley Harding on vinyl and he told me, right before I left, he’d look into it. Then my life blew up.

I still think about how I killed that entire handle of Maker’s Mark in one evening and how I only weighed 110 pounds (that’s being generous);

While making my tea, I debated going out for a cigarette, but then I saw the hairline fractures of lightning against the obsidian sky and quickly changed my mind.

I keep dreaming about moonflowers.