Jif and Lexapro

I keep having to remind myself to eat not just smoke cigarettes all the time.

At the clinic, you always had to have three square meals a day in addition to the litany of pills and classes.

It was truly a bubble.

I need to up my Lexapro. It’s amazing how insidious depression is, how it can amble in like that and sit patiently away in a corner, its shadow looming. I suppose all the rain doesn’t help.

Cheese sticks and mixed nuts are kind foods to eat. Handfuls of protein. I have a jar of Jif peanut butter that waits for me in my cupboard in times of emergency.

I love sleep because I can just lie there under my Doctor Zhivago blanket and forget about the world. Only I keep getting thinner again because of my medicine. I was surprised to look in the mirror at the waif I’d become. At least when I drank I had a cherubic bloat to me, now I’m just tiny.