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I keep thinking how much my mom would like this book. Loop Group. I can almost hear her saying it, she loved a good rhyme.

She had such joviality to her voice when something excited her, the way her cerulean eyes would light up like an August sky.

I tossed and turned again, sleep finally finding me after a certain unknown hour.

I’m running low on Lexapro and debating getting back on the Gabapaetin wagon. Last night I watched a Big Pharma ad between Family Guy reruns and shook my head, thinking of my mom and I’s long-running commentary on the Don DeLillo like side effects of a new, commercial drug and how peculiar it was I was on a whole rash of them.

I might be moving again. My kid sister is delicate and needs 24/7 care and my depression has become a sort of elephant in the room, only ever sated by an electric flash from a cup of coffee and food when I can remember it.

My jeans are loose again. P would have a field day putting me in some sample size dresses if I were back home. The irony is, Lexapro is supposed to cause weight gain. Well, I’ve got them beat with my slender Audrey Hepburn frame and everything going through it. I haven’t been able to gain and keep a pound since my mother died.

I have a lot of paperwork to do but my heart is gnashed under a great steel anvil and the escape of a good book and midnight black coffee sounds so appealing. Maybe I should just shut up and take my antidepressant.