rid

I’m restless.

Maybe I need to start doing yoga again.

I had a pretty productive day. I went to the market to get more provisions (twice), I went a for a long walk, I did laundry. I read some chapters in the book I’m devouring. I ran a load in the dishwasher. I showered (twice); still, I’m restless.

The mandatory meeting is in an hour. I’m not not looking forward to it, the therapist is great, it’s just the waiting part that makes me itchy.

I imagine my restlessness is part of a greater existential issue. How to fill up my days with meaning, but even days with meaning can be imbued with that same predicament. Nihilism, to me, is about how life is meaningless but you should apply your own meaning to things, finding the beauty inherent in things.

I haven’t drawn a moonflower in weeks. I’m always waiting for my life to begin.